From 1967 you say .....
Hmmm, so 1948 failed .... what are you trying to say?
Add 40 Years to 1948 D'OH!
I'll calculate the date, you tell me a generation is 40 years. The time starts in 1948
Before The Figtree Generation Dies!
Rapture! WHEN?
HOMER TEACHES ESCHATOLOGY
MR DATA TEACHES ESCHATOLOGY
Mr Data when are the Last Days according to the Scriptures?
Captain, I sense great confusion in your mind.
That's correct counsellor, the preachers have always failed, I don't think their research methods are correct, that's why I have asked Mr Data to decode the texts
The scriptures identify one period that could be called the Last Days and my analysis has revealed something unexpected.
What period is that Mr Data?
The term "Last Days" is not a reference to the end of creation or even the end of the earth. Rather it identifies the end of the age in which the writers were living, it also identifies the end of that covenant administration, it speakes of the completion of Daniel's seventy weeks, it fulfills all of the Feasts of the Lord, it satisfies every component of the Olivet discourse and perfectly harmonises Zachariah, Daniel, the Gospels, the Epistles and Revelation. It also ....
Enough detail Data, when are the Last Days?
Not are Captain, were. The Last Days were fully completed by the fall of Jerusalem in AD70. The sacred texts do not even remotely support a second "Last Days" after that.
I see it! All this time I was looking for a physical cataclysmic reordering of the entire universe, I never thought to read the New Testament with the same linguistic filter as the Old.
Fulfilled?
That changes things.
That changes things.
IT'S ALL ABOUT ESCHATOLOGY!
Chief: Max, Max, what were Pastor Cravenwolf's last words? What did he say? We have to know.
Max: He said, "Get your knees off my chest, Smart"
Chief: What did he say before that?
Max: He said; "I can't believe I missed the rapture".
Chief: You better come in now Max, we have your most important assigment ever.
Max: He said, "Get your knees off my chest, Smart"
Chief: What did he say before that?
Max: He said; "I can't believe I missed the rapture".
Chief: You better come in now Max, we have your most important assigment ever.
Listen Jerry, I think you are over-literalising the prophetic texts and ignoring the literal nature of the time statements in scripture. The Bible talks about time like we talk about time. It is consistant. This boot is 12" here, and 12" in Britain. It is always consistant in every place. Just like the Bible's time statements.
Yes, I was nearly killed in the stampede to buy "Taken Away" I still haven't read it. It distresses me more than being in the hospital. Some guy named Jerry pushed me down and kicked me during the rush.
GOREN DOES THE ESCHATON
I just don't know how so many people believe this stuff. Jesus and the Apostles were clear. The first century time statements demand a first century fulfillment. Why does Blowhard "futurize" these statements?
So Jerry, you are so taken up with iminence that you would severly injure a young woman to get the lastest book on the subject?
Goren and Eames, what do you know so far?
We spoke at length with Ima Sheeple and visited Blowhard's church. I asked Sheeple where in the Bible she gets her belief system. She said a lot of it is in the "Book of Hezekiah".
There is no
"Book of Hezek ....
"Book of Hezek ....
That's right, that girl is as dumb as an oyster. Not only that she teaches in Blowhard's Bible School! I asked many people in that church where they get their End Time doctrine from. Not one person, no one at all could simply open the Bible they were carrying and answer me!
They all believe the Rapture will happen instantly at any time!
They all believe the Rapture will happen instantly at any time!
They were preaching that stuff back when I
had good hair!
Remembers the hair he had in the 70's
had good hair!
Remembers the hair he had in the 70's
Captain, they have been preaching this stuff without success for more than 100 years. The bottom line is that Jesus meant what He said about returning in the lifetime of His audience. And He delivered.
True Eschatology is not really that hard to understand. I think I can sum up the process needed to open these scriptures:
First: Prophetic time statements are always literal
Second: Prophetic language is apocalyptic.
Third: The New Testament borrows much of its prophetic concepts and imagery from proven Old Testament examples.
First: Prophetic time statements are always literal
Second: Prophetic language is apocalyptic.
Third: The New Testament borrows much of its prophetic concepts and imagery from proven Old Testament examples.
Now we need to expose these "End Timers" before they finally convince the President to nuke Iran.
You know how I hate the 'cone of silence' Max. OK, here it is. Chaos has established "Operation Fig Tree". It is a plan to convince Christians all over the world that the Temple of Daniel 9 must be rebuilt. If they succeed Christians, Jews and Muslims will be driven to a war that will last for fifty years or more.
The Temple of Daniel 9! How will they do that?
They will insert a gap between the 69th and 70th weeks of Daniel's prophecy.
A gap between the 69th and 70th week of Daniel's prophecy! That's absurd. That's terrible. That's impossible! I have just one question chief ... what is Daniel's prophecy?
Well Max, you need some help and finally decide to call on Agent 13 eh? Daniel's 70 weeks was fulfilled in AD70. The 69th week ended at the Baptism of Jesus in AD 27. His crucifixion marked the midpoint of the seventieth week. It was Jesus who confirmed the covenant for one week as mentioned in Daniel 9. The first part of the week was the 3.5 years of Jesus earthly ministry and the second part was the 3.5 years of the tribulation judgement on Jerusalem
Max: Chief, I am heading strait over to the Church where 99 and I were married.
Chief: Church?
Max: Yes, Sigfried is delivering some Schofield study notes there this afternoon. I am going to stop him.
Chief: You will be risking your life Max. You could face gunfire and even death, they may capture you and torture, you will be in danger.
Max: And loving it.
Chief: Church?
Max: Yes, Sigfried is delivering some Schofield study notes there this afternoon. I am going to stop him.
Chief: You will be risking your life Max. You could face gunfire and even death, they may capture you and torture, you will be in danger.
Max: And loving it.
Max, do you know what that means? Sigfried's little secret is out!. Once the world hears this they will do two things. First they will put down their weapons and second they will put their trust in the finished Work of Jesus Christ!
What are doing Shmart? You can't shtop me now. Zese people grabbed on to Chaos Religious Futurism wis everythink zey have. Zey will continue ze war in Iraq, expand to Syria, zen Iran and Pakistan, soon zey will bomb ze whole world Shmart and you von't shtop zem.
You don't scare me Sigfried, as soon as I push this button every radio and television station in the world will broadcast the truth about Daniel's prophecy! Your efforts have failed.
So Max, the Book of Revelation is about God's marriage to His Bride, the Church. It is about a New Covenant not a new physical world. It is about a new relationship with God, based on Faith in a finished work not the anticipation of judgement to come.
Goren, a young woman was almost killed at the opening sale of the new book: "Taken Away" by Reverend John Blowhard. I need you and Eames to visit his church and investigate what his ministry is up to. The woman is in General Hospital, her name is Ima Sheeple.
MAXWELL SMART AND DANIEL'S 70 WEEKS
SG1, I want you to use the Stargate and go back in time. You will travel to AD65, the Island of Patmos, where you will meet John the Revelator
Is this a Religious thing? We are warriors not theologians.
It's all about war Colonel O'Neil. The only man in history who can explain why more than 50 million Christians are Hell Bent on War is the author of the Apocalypse. The Christians are exhibiting symptoms of extreme brainwashing. We think it is connected to their belief systems.
AD65 ... you may be surprised what you learn.
OK Team, grab your New Testaments and dial the Star Gate.
So this is Patmos AD65, are those Roman ships in the distance? It seems they are heading to Palestine.
The prophecies I have received were the culminaton of every prophetic process from Abel through Christ to Paul, He spoke to me again you know, hehe, Jesus Christ did, the Alpha and the Omega, met with me here on this rock!
Revelator, How many times were your prophecies to be fulfilled?
Why, once of course. One Lord, One Faith, One Fulfillment, I always say.
John, many Christians in our time are ascribing multiple fulfillments to Bible Prophecies
The translations are basically intact, the preachers are just not consistent in prophetic interpetation. For example they see the Land Promises and all of Ezekiel 36 through the end as yet to happen!
Multiple interpretation of prophecy could lead to a theological and political catastrophe. You're right about wars, if our apocalyptic language is interpreted literally and applied multiple times the entire world could slide towards an "Armageddon scenerio" as you call it. Theologically some apostate cretin fool may likely attempt to apply the Messianic prophecies into the future as well.
Hmmm, the "Apostate Cretin Fool" you mention leads a huge church in Texas.
"Jesus did not come to be the Messiah"
Jack recounts his bad exeperience in Hagee's Church
The Five Fold Ministry, Apostles, Prophets, Pastors and Teachers ALL knew it would happen to that generation! They were right.
Perhaps there is still time to save your world from a terrible war.
SG1 AND MULTIPLE FULFILLMENT